27 FEBRUARY, 2001: Is it possible to hate a movie you haven’t seen? Well, sure. The better question is: Is it ethical to dislike a movie you haven’t seen, when your (non-income providing) job is to review movies?

I ask this question because the Academy Award nominations came out a couple of weeks ago (I waited to see a couple more nominated films before writing about them), and the thing that pisses me off the most is that Miramax has gone and bought themselves some more nominations. Back in the day when they used to make good movies (remember? Early to mid-90’s? “Pulp Fiction”? “The Crying Game”? “Chasing Amy”?), it was the natural order that one of their releases was one of the best films of the year. However, in the last few years, they’ve become a cookie-cutter distributor, alternating between shameless money-grubbing crap (I never tire of pinpointing their January and February double-header of “Down To You” and “Reindeer Games”) and obvious plays for big awards. But in the past two years, they really haven’t put out any great movies, so they spend tons of cash to convince Academy voters that they should give lots of nominations to a movie that has no right to get them. Last year, that movie was “The Cider House Rules”. This year, from “Cider House” director Lasse Hallstrom no less, comes “Chocolat”.

And let me make this very clear: I have not seen “Chocolat”. Why? Because I don’t want to. Until I get paid for this shit, I’m not sitting through movies that don’t interest me. I like some of the cast, yes, and I used to like Hallstrom (that “Cider House” shit burned me out on him pretty quick), but this movie sounds just plain goddamn goofy, and sickeningly sweet (I’ll spare you the bad puns from the cutesy title), and I’ve not read one review that has convinced me that I’m missing one of the great films.

But, this morning, we find that the Brothers Weinstein managed to buy themselves nominations in several categories (including Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Score), taking slots from several films and actors that I am convinced, CONVINCED were more deserving. Maybe I’m wrong.

But I doubt it.

Here’s a quick look at the nominations with my immediate thoughts. Understand, as with last year’s nominations column, I’m not taking any guesses or making any predictions here—that I’ll do after I’ve had a month or so to take in the buzz (and hopefully see some more of the movies). I’ll put out an official picks and predits column shortly before the ceremony, which is being hosted by Steve Martin this year and not Billy Crystal, thank Christ in heaven.

BEST PICTURE: “Chocolat”, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, “Erin Brockovich”, “Gladiator”, “Traffic”.

I’ve mentioned my feelings toward “Gladiator”, which was a pretty good movie but by no stretch Best Picture material. But I’d pretty much come to terms with the fact that it was gonna get the nomination, and might even win (which would be the biggest load of shit since “The English Patient” a few years back). I’ve already discussed my distaste and disintrest in “Chocolat”, so I won’t bore you with any more of that, except to say that its slot would have been much more satisfyingly filled by “Wonder Boys” or “Almost Famous”. I am glad that “Billy Elliot” (which, again in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t seen) didn’t sweep on up; it may be a good movie, but it seems a pretty slight one. Some of my favorite movies didn’t make this group, as usual—it’s a pipe dream to even imagine the Academy being bold enough to nominate movies like “Requiem for a Dream”, “High Fidelity”, or “The Virgin Suicides”, though they certainly could’ve given them nods in a few other categories (which I’ll get into later). The other three nominations make me very happy; I’d imagine one of them will win, though I’ll admit now that my favorite is still “Erin Brockovich”.

BEST ACTOR: Javier Bardem, “Before Night Falls”; Russell Crowe, “Gladiator”; Tom Hanks, “Cast Away”; Ed Harris, “Pollack”; Geoffrey Rush, “Quills”.

This is an interesting group that I can’t comment much on, as two of the five films haven’t made their way to my shitty city yet, and I wasn’t able to see “Quills” because Northrock 6 only played it for a week (THE DIRTY COCKSUCKERS). I’m okay with the nominations of the two I’ve seen; though I have reservations about both “Gladiator” and “Cast Away” (thankfully, this was that film’s only major nomination), both of these were fine performances (though, frankly, I thought Crowe did better work in the underrated “Proof Of Life”). I’m looking forward to seeing the other three films, and I’m glad to see Ed Harris, who should act more, get a (somewhat) surprising nomination. I will say that I’m quite surprised that my favorite actor of the year, Micheal Douglas, didn’t get nominated here for “Wonder Boys” (which he should have won) or in Supporting Actor for “Traffic” (which he shouldn’t have), nor did Sean Connery for “Finding Forrester”; I’m also saddened that the Academy’s bias against comic performances prevented noms for “High Fidelity”’s John Cusack or “O Brother”’s Golden Globe-winning George Clooney.

BEST ACTRESS: Joan Allen, “The Contender”; Juliette Binoche, “Chocolat”; Ellen Burstyn, “Requiem for A Dream”; Laura Linney, “You Can Count On Me”; Julia Roberts, “Erin Brockovich”.

The combination of the previously mentioned anti-comedy bias and the fucking chocolate movie knocked out Renee Zellweger’s great work in “Nurse Betty”, which kinda sucks. The rest of the nominees are pretty solid (I had a chance to take in “You Can Count On Me” last weekend and enjoyed it thoroughly, though Linney seems to pretty much play the same character—well—in everything she does). Roberts and Burstyn are my favorites, and I’ve got a feeling it’s going to ultimately be a race between the two of them.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Jeff Bridges, “The Contender”; Willem Defoe, “Shadow of the Vampire”; Benicio Del Toro, “Traffic”; Albert Finney, “Erin Brockovich”; Joaquin Phoenix, “Gladiator”.

Phoenix’s nomination is the stinkiest of this bunch. He was slimy, sure, but he’s just too distractingly contemporary for a Roman epic, and his nomination was probably also meant to recognize his work in “Quills” and “The Yards”. The rest are good picks, though I think that if they were gonna nominate someone from “The Contender”, it should have been Gary Oldman. Supporting Actor is traditionally one of the toughest categories to nominate and choose, but I think just about everybody knows Benicio is going to win it, and he should. I’d have liked to have seen my favorite supporting actor of the year, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, nominated for “Almost Famous”; I also would have been pleased to have seen recognition for Robert Downey Jr. in “Wonder Boys”, Rob Brown in “Finding Forrester”, or Morgan Freeman in “Nurse Betty”. I’d be kidding myself if I thought they’d actually nominate Jack Black for “High Fidelity” or Fred Willard for “Best In Show”, but Christ that would’ve been cool.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Judi Dench, “Chocolat”; Marcia Gay Harden, “Pollock”; Kate Hudson, “Almost Famous”; Frances McDormand, “Almost Famous”; Julie Walters, “Billy Elliot”.

Another vote for the goddamn chocolate movie, robbing Catherine Zeta-Jones of a nomination for “Traffic”, or Kirsten Dunst for “The Virgin Suicides”. “Pollock”, as I mentioned, is a no-show thus far, and I haven’t seen “Billy Elliot”, so I don’t have much to say here. I do hope Frances McDormand wins, not just for her wonderful performance in “Almost Famous”, but in a very different kind of role in “Wonder Boys”.

BEST DIRECTOR: Stephen Daltry, “Billy Elliot”; Ang Lee, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”; Ridley Scott, “Gladiator”; Steven Soderbergh, “Erin Brockovich”; Steven Soderbergh, “Traffic”.

Nothing makes me happier than Soderbergh, currently my favorite filmmaker, picking up two nominations; nothing makes me more pissed-off than the possibility that he’ll split his own vote, as many said was the case at the Golden Globes, and somebody else picks it up by default. My choice, between the two Soderbergh nominations, is for “Traffic”, the more personal film and greater directorial achievement (which he not only directed and produced but shot under a pseudonym).

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Cameron Crowe, “Almost Famous”; Lee Hall, “Billy Elliot”; Susannah Grant, “Erin Brockovich”; David Franzoni, John Logan, and William Nicholson, “Gladiator”; Kenneth Lonergan, “You Can Count On Me”.

I’m glad “Almost Famous” got its props here; it’s easily my choice. But what the hell is “Gladiator” doing in here? Did anybody really go nuts for that screenplay? How ‘bout a nod for the Cannes-winning script for “Nurse Betty”? I’d heard some people throwing around “Best In Show” as a possibility—that would’ve been killer. Ah, well. I will say that I’m impressed by the nomination for the very quiet, understated “You Can Count On Me.”

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Robert Nelson Jacobs, “Chocolat”; Wang Hui Ling, James Schamus, and Tsai Kuo Jung, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”; Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”; Stephen Gaghan, “Traffic”; Steve Kloves, “Wonder Boys”.

This was the one category where I really thought “High Fidelity” had a shot, and I blame its exclusion squarely on the fucking chocolate movie. A nomination for “The Virgin Suicides” or “Requiem For A Dream” wouldn’t have been out of line, but that’s expecting a little too much, I suppose. Of the nominated films, the nomination that made me happiest was the Coen Brothers’; Kloves is probably still my pick.

A few more random thoughts:

- I’m not the only one unimpressed by the Visual Effects in “Gladiator”; “The Cell” should have been nominated in its slot.

- Though they missed “Erin Brockovich”, isn’t it interesting that the Editors knew “Almost Famous” and “Wonder Boys” were among the year’s best films?

- Gee, ya think “Crouching Tiger” will win Best Foreign Film?

- The Original Score nominees sucked on ice. It’s bad enough that Thomas Newman gets screwed again (“Erin Brockovich” was my favorite score of the year), but then they go and nominate John Williams’ shitty, obvious, derivative “Patriot” score? Bleeeech.

- I’m not a big Bob Dylan fan, but “Things Have Changed” is a great song, and I think it might be “Wonder Boys”’s best shot at an Oscar.

I’ve indicated some favorites, but I’ll hold out for my full-on Oscar column closer to the ceremonies. So, in closing, FUCK MIRAMAX. Cheers!